GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colours by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.
St. FRANCIS; It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
GOD:
Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colourful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it - sometimes twice a week.
GOD: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay?
ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
ST. FRANCIS: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.
GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life.
St. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.
GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?
ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
GOD: And where do they get this mulch?
ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
ST. CATHERINE: 'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about....
GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.
Thanks for sending this to us Sue!
Our "20 Year Project". We're looking forward to building our brand new garden, year by year, from almost scratch. Apart from a few very small trees, our newly acquired tract is currently only a bare stretch of grass. So starting July 23rd, 2007 when we take possession it's "on with the show" ..... and please come back often and watch us grow!
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Greetings from the Niagara!
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- Clematis
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- Win a lottery!
New Word Coined by Gardening Author
"Hortgasm" - A hortgasm is what a garden fanatic has when sighting a particularly beautiful specimen. ~ James Dodson, Beautiful Madness, Penguin Group, 2007
Great Source for Japanese Maples and Bonsai
Alan Trafford
* Tel (905) 309-1697
* E-mail atrafford@hotmail.com
* Also maintains stall every Sunday at Jordan Market, Jordon, Ontario
* Tel (905) 309-1697
* E-mail atrafford@hotmail.com
* Also maintains stall every Sunday at Jordan Market, Jordon, Ontario
Great Source for Perennials!!!!
Cindy Ripley
6 Nursey Lane (No Kidding!)
Fonthill
905-892-5598
cindyripley@hotmail.com
Best call or E-mail for an appointment
We bought 45 plants for $30 on July 10/07.
That has to be the best price anywhere!
She has them growing in her garden, plus has pictures of all, so great way to choose your own.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
6 Nursey Lane (No Kidding!)
Fonthill
905-892-5598
cindyripley@hotmail.com
Best call or E-mail for an appointment
We bought 45 plants for $30 on July 10/07.
That has to be the best price anywhere!
She has them growing in her garden, plus has pictures of all, so great way to choose your own.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
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- Rhododendron Society of Canada, Niagara Region
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Blog Archive
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2007
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October
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- Pleasant Surprise!
- Common Garden Scene Around Here
- For those New to this Site: Meet Dennis!
- Reply Back to Our Sister-in-Law in Saudi Arabia
- What a Great Growing Year!
- Saving Mr. Gnome, (A Movie NOT Coming to a Theatre...
- Gnome Sweet Gnome!
- Bluebeard ~ Our Latest Arrival
- Images from Atop the Berm
- That Should do the Trick!
- Everything a Man Could Want is Right in this Picture!
- What a Thanksgiving Day ~ Hang the Weather Forecas...
- One Door Closes, Another Opens ...
- So Much for a Bright and Sunny Thanksgiving Weeken...
- The Lighter Side of Gardening! ~ "Suburbanites"
- In Full Bloom for Thanksgiving Weekend
- Hello Sunshine!
- Let the Good Earth Begin!
- ..... from our E-mailbag : from Edmonton, Alberta
- The Lighter Side of Gardening!
- We Have a Purple Smoke Bush!
- Our Ladybug Has Come Home!
- Problem Solved?
- Welcome Dominican Republic!
- What? Me Worry!
- It Flowers!
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